Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The evil pants

So this outfit looks totally normal, right? Big rain/snow boots because we had sleet in the morning and rain the rest of the day, but non-adorable footwear aside, it looks normal. I was at my gyno's getting ready to walk in the office, when my dad leans over and tells me I have a rip in the side of them, on my right upper thigh. I manage to fix that with a stapler in an empty office and feel pretty pleased with myself.

 THEN AT THE END OF THE DAY, I'm in the bathroom peeing (not for the first time, since I'm not a camel), and I look down and see a giant rip in the crotch! I am of course wearing bright pink panties. These are not actually a pair of work pants, they're a pair of pants that I KNOW need to be fixed. But I'm too freaking lazy (and bad at sewing), so I've put them on a pile of things to ask my mother to fix. 

And yet somehow I picked them up this morning, put them on and never noticed either the rip on the side or the GIANT HOLE in the crotch until later in the day. Luckily, the rip in the crotch is directly in the crotch where no one can see, so at least I was spared that embarrassment.

Please, share some similar embarrassing stories so I don't feel like quite such a doofus. (And send me some luck, because I'm going to have a D & C on Thursday for uterine bleeding issues.)

Monday, February 25, 2013

It's time to tell the truth...I'm old.

Sweater - Avenue, Pants - White Stag, Shoes - Dexter.
I didn't watch the Oscars. They go on FOREVER. So we watched a TV episode off the DVR (Warehouse 13!) and then went to bed. Because I'm old. But I looked online at everyone's dresses this morning. And the plus size ladies killed it! (Except for you, Melissa McCarthy. You were evidently put under an evil spell by a witch and can only look adorable when you're NOT wearing a ballgown.)

Octavia Spencer looked beautiful in another Tadashi Shoji gown, her signature designer for big events. This is so pretty and Cinderella-ish.

Adele looked awesome in a Jenny Packham gown. She almost always wears black, but a singer with a voice like hers doesn't need anything fancy to stand out!

Queen Latifah looked kick-ass. You know she could take care of it all in this Badgley Mischka dress. It's pure white, but the beading on the bodice keeps it from being bland.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Webseries to rock your world

Okay, so you're already in the know. You watch The Guild, My Drunk Kitchen, The Flog and all the other major web series. Here are some shows that I've recently become a HUGE fan of:

The Lizzie Bennett Diaries: Pride and Prejudice in a vlog format. I'm late to this one, because I'm an ultra P&P fan who's touchy about what people do with the book. But this is fantastic. Plus, they made Kitty Bennett into an actual cat and Anne de Bourgh into a lap dog!

My Gimpy Life: A LA actress in a wheelchair who shows us her life, dating issues and casting call disasters included. BONUS: Felicia Day shows up as an agoraphobic friend.

Husbands: Gay marriage is finally made legal (everywhere), and a couple gets drunk married in Vegas. The problem is they're famous and everyone is pressuring them to stay married for the cause. One guy is an actor, one's a baseball player. It starts ridiculous and ends up sweet.

SoulPancake is Rainn Wilson's channel, and it has a great unconnected series called The Flipside. It's little narrative episodes about big questions like "Who are you really?" and "Why pray?"

Thursday, February 21, 2013

our love would live a half-life on the surface

Do you have certain favorite writers that are not crowd favorites? My mom loves sci-fi and romance, and she'll gladly talk about those with me. My sister loves non-fiction, fantasy, and sci-fi. My father loves mysteries. One of my favorite authors is Warren Ellis. Tons of other people love him, of course. Just not anyone I talk to on a regular basis. He's a graphic novelist/mystery novelist who fills that weird, bitter, cynical, and sarcastic place in my heart. He's also a fantastic writer, who really thinks about what he writes.

"I sit down every day to tell myself a story. Usually full of either stimulants or depressants, playing some kind of soundtrack to the experience of writing, aware of my environment, sitting in my own little writer’s movie and telling myself a story. Anyone who tells you they write to an audience is either an idiot or a fake. You write for yourself. If the story doesn’t affect you in some way, it won’t affect anybody else. I don’t write for the trunk. I’m well aware that someone else is going to read this. But if I don’t respond in some honest, gut way to whatever I’m writing, you’ll never get to see it." From his talk "Stories, Drinking And The World".

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Yesterday and Today (aka, I was lazy)

Top - Simply Be, pants - Denim 24/7, shoes - Crocs.
This tunic is called the Volcanic Print Tunic, and Gracey, I KNOW you totally love it. Warning for anyone who buys it; it's narrow through the hips and doesn't have a defined waist. I belted it here and bloused it out, since I wasn't wearing it over leggings. Since my sister has gotten her sewing machine set up, I might get her to shorten mine a few inches, since my hips are wider than my chest.

Cardi and boots - Simply Be,  pants - Denim 24/7, shirt - Avenue.
This is my waterfall cardigan, just worn unbuttoned for once. This week it's cold again (Boo for crazy bipolar weather), so layering is definitely in order. I was looking at my cardigans with my new BOLD color craving and they're all fairly neutral. The closest I get to non-neutral is a pale pink and a faded army green. This might need to be fixed...

Friday, February 15, 2013

Paisley and little buns

Deep attempt to look serious. Top - Simply Be here, Pants - Denim 24/7, Shoes - Payless.
I got this shirt in the mail yesterday and immediately decided to wear it today. Obviously, wild paisley prints just can't wait. They also required an equally ridiculous hairstyle, so I did two little buns, each secured by an itsy bitsy hair fork. I might be a little more adept on one side than the other...

Adorable hair provided by my inner 5 year old.
So I'm becoming more and more musically in love with Josh Ritter. He's like Bob Dylan and Gillian Welch had a musical baby! (Obviously much more verbally coherent than Dylan and his songs are generally more uptempo than Gillian's, but you know what I mean.) His music is quirky and funny, but not biting or cruel. This is a surprising happy post-apocalyptic song.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Sherlock does not love you, only John

Because I love you all so very much, here's a Sherlock valentine for you:

And just for fun, Puritan guilt valentines:

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Pretend ballet teacher (also, #650!)

Top - Simply Be, Pants - Denim 24/7, Crocs.
Not only does wearing my hair up in a high bun keep it out of my way at work, it also lets me pretend that I'm a haughty Russian ballet teacher. I think it's important to have a rich fantasy life about your clothing, and I think most bloggers would agree with me! Otherwise, you might as well just wear beige (aka the most boring color ever). The only thing better than lots of red is little accessory POPS of red. I'm getting bolder and bolder in my color choices, I think. When I look at my wardrobe, and my blog, the stuff I like the most now is either super-saturated or black. It's all part of my master plan to become the crazy boho cat lady without getting any of those pesky cats. But I do this a lot, veer between classic and boho. So tell me to buck and stop being scared of rocking out with my colors out!

You will pliĆ© now!

Teenagers are lame

Top and boots - Simply Be, Leggings - Walmart.
I had an all day class yesterday on effective communication, so I didn't have a chance to put up a post with pictures. (I keep my camera cable in my desk at work.) Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, a lovely Catholic feast. I'm Baptist, so I don't celebrate it. (Imagine someone in the past snootily looking down their nose and saying "I don't think we'll do that!" about all Catholic holidays and you have Protestant religions.) But, my favorite T. S. Eliot poem is "Ash Wednesday"! Now you need to imagine an overly bookish, nerdy high school junior who decides that she'll recite this poem for forensics. If I wasn't so self-conscious, it might have been great, but I just ended up sounding stuffy and never winning anything. Still, I love the poem. For a taste of how very Anglo-uptight the poem is, here's the opening verse:

Because I do not hope to turn again
Because I do not hope
Because I do not hope to turn
Desiring this man's gift and that man's scope
I no longer strive to strive towards such things
(Why should the aged eagle stretch its wings?)
Why should I mourn
The vanished power of the usual reign?

It's very recursive and full of odd imagery. It's not exactly cheery either. Of course, not much of Eliot's work is, except for "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats", which is the basis of the musical "Cats".

Monday, February 11, 2013

Bone of Song

Cardigan and jeans - Simply Be, Shoes - Earth Spirit.
So I looked up my favorite Punch Brothers song today to see who wrote it, and found a whole new artist that I've fallen in music love with! Josh Ritter, who wrote the song "Another New World", is a fantastic songwriter. He also has a number of awesome videos, like this satirical animated one for his song "Galahad". He's also got a papercraft one, and a puppeteer one. Check him out and listen closely, because his songs have actually deep meanings and metaphors.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Life is weird, ya'll

So, for this blog, I have 29 followers. And I love you all! You read my ramblings (or at least pretend to) and comment on my outfits. But I'm freaking huge on Pinterest. I have 494 followers. But they don't follow all my boards. I have around 100 people that appear to follow almost all my boards. But most of that 494 seems to come from two areas: my geek interests (Doctor Who, Sherlock, Joss Whedon boards, etc) and my Plus Size Pretty board, which has 277 followers. I started it as a clothing inspiration board for myself, and somehow it just kept getting followers. I have fashion lines following me! So evidently I'm good at curating images of beautiful plus size clothing and ladies. But never fear, my blog will stay the same. Mainly because I'm lazy and I'm not a fan of "blogs" that are really just images pulled from elsewhere.

Sweater - Simply Be, Leggings - Walmart, Socks - Sock Dreams, Boots - Target
Sock Dreams is running a Valentines Day Sale! If you use the coupon code SockSweeties, you can get 10% off $40+ until February 15th. And I know that I rave about them, but seriously; best place to get plus-size knee high socks ever. AND super-fast free shipping! Treat yourself or give someone a little list of what you want. Since it's Friday, it's snowing here. It seems like 12 out of the last 9 Fridays have had snow. Hence the big snow boots. Is anyone else in the path of this storm? Carrie, I know you're not, so boo to you.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Lady Tie

Sweater and pants - Walmart, scarf - stolen from my mom, socks - Sock Dreams, shoes - Payless.
I have my sweet little lady tie on and rainbow socks, so obviously I can take on the world today. I got back from the Punch Brothers concert late last night. (Late for me, that is.) It was so good! I had listened to their stuff on Spotify and I was feeling sort of ehhh about the concert. But the tickets were cheap, and it's always fun to go to a concert with my dad. They are definitely a band to see live. You know how some bands are always better live, and some are (sadly) better polished on their records? [Cough, poor little Taylor Swift who always seems to sound bad at every awards show.] Punch Brothers is a total live band. The guys are all complete music dorks, you can tell, and they just feed off of each other. Also, it's incredibly encouraging to see A&F type guys in the audience rocking out to progressive bluegrass unironically!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Taxi-cab purses and Punch Brothers

I couldn't help it. I had to buy it in yellow, too.
My purse addiction shows no signs of stopping. I really like this Top Notch purse, which is my Barbie pink purse. It's a great style, so when I saw the bright yellow (in person, a taxi-cab yellow), I really wanted it. BOOM. It somehow made it's way to my house. Look how cheerful it is! How can I be depressed on a grey day when I can look at this brightness and cuteness? And the Barbie purse is wearing great (as in, not wearing at all), so this is definitely worth the $40. (Pro Tip: the Boston Common's handle is flaking, so I'll have to do something about that one in a while.)

Tonight, I'm going to a Punch Brothers concert with my dad. We both really enjoy Americana/progressive bluegrass type music. I'm not a enormous fan of the band, like I am of Gillian Welch, but they're playing at the college I work at, so the tickets are cheap. I loved Chris Thile in Nickel Creek (why did you have to split up into solo careers??), so I figure I should give Punch Brothers a decent try.

Top, Shoes, and Cords - Simply Be, Tank - Hanes,  Necklace - Forever 21
This is a gorgeous shirt with a problematic neckline. HOW MUCH SPACE am I supposed to have between my shoulders and my actual boobs? Because it's not this much. I'm petite, but I have an average to long torso, and this is ridiculous. Honestly, manufacturers. I love cleavage, but not in all my shirts and bras. And as I just realized, I want to keep my cleavage to v-neck shirts, not bizarrely low scoopnecks. I do love the color of this shirt and it's deliberately rumpled pockets, though. 

Monday, February 4, 2013

My non-super bowl party

Cardigan - Simply Be, Pants - Walmart, Shoes - Payless.

Much like Mia, my family doesn't sports. So instead of watching the Super Bowl, we just had a great big bucket of KFC with sides and caught up on this season of Justified. (If you don't watch it, do yourself a favor and start. It's awesome.) It's full of shooting and quips and crazy people and US Marshals and meth and cowboy hats and horrible family relationships. As a bonus for you, here are all the shootings from the first two season from the lead character, Raylan, played by Timothy Olyphant.

Friday, February 1, 2013

French braids cause big hurr

While it's fun to have my hair as big as this (right after I took out my french braid from yesterday, which I slept in all night), it's just not a "work look". Big hurrr like that is for the weekends, but since I don't take that many weekend pics, I thought you guys should be amused as well. Up in a bun keeps it all contained.

Outfit - Simply Be, Clogs - Earth Shoes.
 So my Cosmo came today, and on the front Miley Cyrus is promising me that she's "never faked anything" underneath a giant caption that says "It's Miley, B*tches..." (asterisk theirs). I'm sorry, but Miley Cyrus is just not hardcore, Cosmo, and a bleeped curse word isn't going to convince me otherwise. Am I the only one who reads Cosmo primarily for people's embarrassing confessions? I like the cheap beauty tips too, but I get a vicious thrill out of all those stories of dumb stuff people get caught doing.

Did you know that also, according to Cosmo, the "3 words you must never say to a guy" are I look fat? But Cosmo, I AM fat. And I look it. And that's not a big deal, or a bad thing, or equal to killing a puppy or even as bad as going out without makeup. I'm fat. And Miley Cyrus is skinny. And unless she's really hiding something, a bit dumb too, but that's not the issue. Size doesn't equal beauty, or even personality. All size equals is size. So stop trying to make me hate myself! Just show me ads for some fat girl clothes, and I'll snap those babies right up. I buy more new clothes than I should, because I can't find any non-maternity plus size clothes at my local thrift stores. So let my fat wallet loose, and we'll all be happy.