Peanut Butter Pie

My dad can't eat chocolate. He's allergic, to the point of throat-swelling-up-and-imminent-death allergic. So, for a late Valentine's treat, I made him this pie which he loves. And so does everyone who gets a taste of it. I first made it this past Thanksgiving, and I've made it several times since because not only is it tasty, it's super simple. The recipe I use is from allrecipes.com, only I don't use walnuts. I even took pictures like a food blogger! Admittedly, they're not very beautiful, but they go step by step.

PEANUT BUTTER PIE 2000
(seriously, that's what the recipe is called. Don't give me grief, I didn't name it.)

Ingredients
* 1 (9 inch) prepared graham cracker crust (you want a really deep crust. This makes a ton of filling.)
* 4 ounces cream cheese, softened (it totally works to use 1/3 fat cream cheese/Neufchatel cheese
* 1 cup confectioners' sugar
* 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter (you can NOT use natural peanut butter, or honey peanut butter in this. It'll completely screw up the recipe.
* 1/2 cup milk (2%, natch)
* 1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed (this can also be low-fat)

1. First, you get out a large bowl to mix all this junk in. Then you're supposed to "whip cream cheese until soft and fluffy".

I don't know about soft and fluffy. This guy probably uses a mixer. I just use a fork, and for the sake of writing convenience, so will you! So whip it until it's not a block anymore and is sort of creamy.

2. Next, beat in the confectioner's sugar and the peanut butter. You want to do this very slowly, so you don't end up with (a) a mess and (b) carpal tunnel syndrome. I do the sugar first, and I do it in rough fourths. It will look completely gross while you're working it all worked in, like icky watery pudding. Okay, I heard that dirty joke, and you are not funny. Even though I think that every single time too. See:

Nasty, right? Anywhooooooo, next the peanut butter. It'll still look pretty non-yummy at this stage and it'll also be a big clump up around your fork.


3. Now, you add the milk. Just a half cup, but it makes all the pretty difference in the world. It's hard to mix in, so go slow, adding just a bit of milk at a time and whipping it in with your fork. But look, so pretty! You can practically taste the peanut buttery flavor!


4. Now, add the Cool Whip. Oops, frozen whipped topping, thawed. Once again, add slowly, don't just dump the whole carton in at once. But what's this? It's totally changed color! Your luscious peanut butter pie filling now looks pale and wan.


Surely the taste has weenied out as well! Stick a finger in...yeah, that's it. That color fooled you, didn't it? Just like me, fantastic things CAN come in uber pale colors!

5. Pour that filling into your graham cracker crust and pop it into the freezer. You want to make this plenty ahead of time, so it can firm up in the freezer. But don't let it turn into a brick! Friends don't let friends break teeth on dessert!


There you are, delicious pie with no baking, just a few ingredients and some mixing! The crust WILL break apart as you serve it, but when people take their first bites, they'll completely forget. Besides, who manages to serve pie nicely, anyhow?