I'm sure that some of you have the same problem I ran into last Friday. I was wearing the outfit above, and we had our work "Holiday Party" which is 1.5 hours at the end of the day with some snacky time foods. In line a coworker told me I looked "so nice" and just as I started to smile and say thank you, she followed it up with "I can tell you've been doing something that works." I know this woman meant to be complimentary, that there wasn't any bit of a passive aggressive dig in there, but still, I had to bite my tongue to rip her a new one for assuming that I wanted a compliment like that. A) I'm not, in fact doing anything to lose weight and I'm not losing weight. B) I find it rude to assume that people are trying to lose weight, because it implies that there is something wrong with their current body.
Weight is such a troubling issue for so many women (men, too) that even compliments can backfire on sensitive people. You might say to someone "You look so great having lost that weight" and they hear 'With that weight you looked hideous'. During the holidays, we'll all run into people we haven't seen in awhile. Instead of talking about someone's weight, why don't you just tell someone they look beautiful if that's what you mean? No qualifiers, no 'you look so beautiful today/in that dress/now that you're skinnier', just tell them they look beautiful. Because when you qualify someone's beauty, you're saying there are times that they don't look beautiful, and I know that you don't want to say that.
|Fun 70's effect.|
How do you address compliments that make you uncomfortable?